Does Bells Corners suck? part 3

These happy Fiddler-on-the-roof students from Bell HS don’t think so.

Our strategic location, close to downtown and surrounded by the Greenbelt, makes us one of Ottawa’s hottest neighbourhoods, if you go by MLS home prices.
We have jobs galore! Minimum-wage servers and retail workers can usually find something on our shabby strip, and, if you know anything about modern warfare, General Dynamics “Canada” is always looking for the best and the brightest.
The Harper government tax/security headquarters on Fitzgerald provides lots of high-paying jobs for those fortunate enough to have both computer skills AND Conservative connections.
Sure, life in Bells Corners can be nasty, brutish and short, but I can list SEVEN great things about our community:
1. Okay, our aging infrastructure is full of holes, but the City’s working on it.
2. Our local politicians are as colourful as Rob Ford, Mike Duffy and Peter D. Clark. And they’re TWICE as smart. The Chiarelli cousins and Mark Taylor, seen below puckering up for the taxpayer-funded photo op, can still realistically hope to be re-elected next year (IF their spinners are talented enough and can avoid getting caught), but Rob, Mike, and PeterD should resign NOW. Sorry guys, the gig is up.
These pro politicians are in big trouble too.
Do any of them deserve to be re-elected?
3. In Bells Corners, unlike Barrhaven and Kanata, we’re NOT fair-weather fans – when the Pens sent the Sens packing we keep our heads high, proudly displayed our reasonably-priced Canadian Tire car-window pennants for a few days. The offshore owner of the FreshCo plaza has vowed to display the Go Sens Go! sign until at least Canada Day!
Unless he gets a better offer – space for rent, $200 a month.
The car-crash place will keep the flag flying until it starts to get tattered. That’s the spirit!
Can you imagine Rob Ford meekly putting on a Sens sweater? Our milquetoast mayor doesn’t turn my crank.

Montreal’s corrupt mayor paid his debt too, when the Sens knocked off the Habs, but his photo op is much smarter than Jim’s.
4. Bells Corners has some AWESOME benches.
5. In Bells Corners we honour our former politicians, even when they don’t deserve it, like Rick’s buddy Mary Pitt.
Former Nepean politicians like Hunter, Harder, Rick and Andy Haydon LOVE to self-congratulate by awarding themselves medals and naming parks after each other.
ALL of the above politicians accept cash from the developers.
Gord Hunter gets his Queen’s Jubilee Boondoggle Medal – Rick will have to wait his turn.
6. Our Canadian Tire garden centre is awesome – I’ve never seen better turf than these locally-harvested beauties – $2.99 a square foot while supplies last.
7. Our dog-friendly Canadian Tire is a strong supporter of the community. Even if CT Head Office says “no dogs allowed!” our local employees are guided by common sense.
So please vote in this poll if you haven’t done so yet – all is well in Bells Corners, right? So far Pierre “Skippy” Poivrière is in the lead – what does that tell us?

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.