maple leaves punch senators

Some Sens fans are NOT happy!
Halloween is over so it’s time to start marketing Xmas at our Canadian Tire.
Many shopaholic consumers got an early start on Sunday.
This friendly woman was rolling over to Loblaws to “just hang out and people-watch” but she planned to visit the Shopping Event on her way back to the Stillwater Creek Retirement Community.
Whoops! One of the signs along the strip had the wrong hours.
This friendly francophone did brisk business.
A saucy woman from South Hill Designs was happy with the turnout.
Free samples!
I couldn’t believe how packed it was at the Psychic Fair – these people understand marketing!
People lined up patiently to get their fortunes told AFTER paying $6 admission. P.T. Barnum would smile.
Entertainment or scam? Similar to buying a lottery ticket?
Hope she got good news.
Many of the same psychics were here last year.
These guys seemed more like preachers than fortune-tellers.
LOTS of bizarres next weekend – Tristan is trying to keep track of local events on Bells Corners Rocks!
This friendly couple from Lancashire/Yorkshire is pumped for the Lynwood Park Retirement Community’s Christmas Craft Bazaar.
No shortage of maple leaves in Lynwood Village.
This United Church honcho has a BIG row to hoe – he does the entire front lawn by hand and then trucks them away in his homemade trailer.
This guy was sleeping on the job.
He better get back to work soon and get rid of the graves.
Halloween is (unfortunately) over for another year.
These diehards at Local Heroes are still partying!
The joke’s on the pedestrians – there IS no other sidewalk!
Time to get up front and personal with speeding traffic.
Running the gauntlet on the sidewalk to nowhere.
Maybe this could be a partial solution that could improve pedestrian safety at this unpleasant spot?
Or this?
Myers has FINALLY agreed to cut pedestrians a break by parking some of their cars east-west and they expect us to be grateful – their sweetheart deal with the City and the politicians is still in effect.
Peds, wheelchair people, parents pushing strollers, old folks with walkers, sidewalk cyclists, bike-taxi pilots – BE CAREFUL! One scratch and the cars will be back to their old location blocking the Westcliffe pathway.
Things will get even hairier for pedestrians once demolition is finished to make room for a drive-thru bank and another entrance to the FreshCo plaza for cars.
Luckily Rick’s Special Envoy is on the job to keep an eye on the construction crews, just like she supervised the Coco boys last year during Rick’s $3M road-widening project.
Too bad the Spahara had to move – I liked their old location better.
Anyone for a pedicure?
Another pedestrian-friendly parking job.
The ditch won’t be filled in but a little stub of sidewalk will be poured in front of the TD drive-thru bank.
The bank will be an “island” with traffic flowing on both sides as vehicles enter and leave the FreshCo plaza. Profit over people? Car-centric planning porn?
Wow! Day care is so expensive in Bells Corners compared to Gatineau.
It must be hard for people looking to enter the workforce when child care is so expensive. I’m not saying that the Quebec model is better but the different approaches will probably be a key issue in next year’s federal election – the three parties have VERY different policies on child care.
The benefit has been capped at $2K, but more parents in high-income families will be tempted to stay home now that the Harper government has announced income-splitting – will this mean less demand for Bells Corners day care businesses?
The oddly-named 1951 is hiring – is that an old Cock and Bull sofa?
I think maybe the guy on the ladder is the head chef.
This is really the OLD menu.
Here’s the NEW menu – fancy pub food?

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6 Responses to maple leaves punch senators

  1. Dave Mc. says:

    I’d love a city engineer explain what the whole point of that asphalt “island” in front of Meyers Hyundai is supposed to be for. It’s not any kind of continuation of the “sidewalk” before it coming from the west.

    It just sits there like a big wart with a curb around it. Completely pointless.
    How about the city scrape it down flat and maybe construct an actual sidewalk. Wait, that might be construed as the city actually using THEIR own land for something purposeful and pedestrian-friendly.

    Meyers would never allow it, of course.

    • anonyMOOSE says:

      think you might find it was the equivalent to the culvert/grass strip that defines the pathway and the road for the rest of that strip … a feeling of safety from the traffic when walking through that section – which it was when the path was first made

  2. Bonjour Le Hibou,

    While I understand the sense of idealism of your contributor Mr. Mc. (I don’t know him well enough to address him simply as “Dave”), I believe his passion for pedestrian-friendliness ought to be tempered with some cold hard reality. He seems to be under the delusion that Bells Corners is a *community* in and of itself. It’s not. It is merely a conveyance for people travelling from Accora Village to Kanata, and by that I *don’t* mean those poor suckers travelling by foot.

    Bells Corners exists because our stoic Nepeanite forebears knew that some day motorists might like something nice to look at while making their way in either direction down Lloyd Francis Boulevard.

    Ergo, Bells Corners was conceived as the world’s first fully-functioning film set, where everyone is an extra and the director never yells “CUT!” With motorists’ eyes in lieu of cameras!

    Have you ever walked around to the back of a building in Bells Corners? Try it sometime and you’ll see for yourself that every storefront is a façade propped up by 2X4’s.

    I think the ward councillor ought to be commended for his part in furthering this delightful illusion with his talk of “revitalizing” Bells Corners. This was as much a part of the put-on (albeit a benevolent one) to foster the illusion of life in this part of the woods. He realized that the original vision of Bells Corners as “passing scenery” should be complemented with background garble that sounds like local political discourse. It sounds impressive if you don’t listen too closely, but nevertheless it’s the verbal equivalent of “dummy text.”

    (Speaking of lorem ipsum, some people are unaware that Jan Harder is really just a mannequin with a hidden speaker playing a continuous stream of blurbs about how family-friendly Barrhaven is, how it’s all about “community” and how God created the Earth so that one day Barrhaven would emerge from the primordial muck. I once overheard her refer to it as “the Chosen Community.”)

    What Mr. Mc. needs to do is what I and every other sensible being has done, and that is to simply let go of any notions of the “reality” of Bells Corners.

    Just allow your eyes to glaze over but remember to carry yourself with an air of authenticity for the SUV commuters/shoppers returning to Kanata South from the Accora Village Shopping Centre. After all, we have an illusion to maintain.

    Or, to paraphrase a certain Roman Polanski film, “Forget it, Dave. It’s Chinatown.”
    – Ha! Ha! You better hope that Jan Harder doesn’t read this blog. But since you yourself are only a figment of Rick’s imagination I guess there’s no way she can get even with you.

    One thing I don’t understand – how does an imaginary person get a Twitter account? Do you use a ghostwriter?

  3. Dear Rick,

    First let me congratulate you on your recent reelection victory. Well done, sport! It is a testament to your well-oiled Liberal machine that you cake-walked back to the council table for another four years of governmental bliss. (The efforts of your brother Darryl and your other brother Darryl are also to be commended in this regard. Those boys are going places!)

    Now that I have all this congratulatory stuff out of the way, I need to ask a favour, particularly because I’m such recluse and have a thing about owning or using the phone. It seems that some people don’t believe I exist, that I’m just some name you pulled out of a hat during our effort to get Robertson Road renamed Lloyd Francis Boulevard. As you’ll see here, our friend and dedicated community blogger le Hibou has his doubts.

    As I’m sure you can appreciate, this sort of widespread suspicion may cast doubts on your integrity, and we can’t have that! Therefore, I need you to confirm once and for all that I’m a real person, and that you weren’t lying to the local media when you said I was fully behind the Lloyd Francis endeavour, and that you would never mislead the public while representing the City of Ottawa. (Afterall, that would be highly unethical and inappropriate.)

    In the words of Ismail Haniyeh, “Some people think that the truth can be hidden with a little cover-up and decoration. But as time goes by, what is true is revealed, and what is fake fades away.” What I’m asking is for you to maintain the honour bestowed upon you by your constituents and affirm that you are a man of your word, and that how you conduct yourself reflects honourably on your community and your family. The public should be reassured that your mother and father taught you to be honest, and that your example is positively informing the people your daughters are turning out to be.

    When you told the media about me, you were being truthful and not just acting out of political expedience, right?

    I eagerly await your response so I can convey it to anyone who doubts the integrity of your word. You should clear up these doubts and get ahead of them, otherwise I’m afraid they will continue to linger for another four years or so.

    Yours in Lloyd Francis adoration,
    Don Robertson

  4. Dear Darryl & Darryl,

    What’s the deal with your brother? As you’ll see from the message below, I need him to clear up any confusion pronto regarding my existence. It has been already been 24 hours and no news conference, no press releases…nothing. Not a peep.

    I know you boys are busy selling real estate and all, and I’m sure running a business is a demanding proposition even with two of on the job, but I could really use your help. In the absence of a response from Rick I’m developing a full-blown existential crisis. People tell me I’m a figment of the ward councillor’s imagination, and now even I am starting to think they’re right, or the world around me is fake. (Is my life The Truman Show, or some inverse iteration of it? Sorting this out in my head makes me feel like I’m trying to drink from a Klein Bottle full of Möbius strips.) I’ve been resorting to a ouija board of all things! Perhaps a spirit guide can show me the way out of this confusion.

    In the meantime, please please please get Rick to publicly affirm that I’m real and he’s not a liar so I can get back to some trace of normalcy. We’ve known each other long enough that I feel I can ask this of both of you.

    Don Robertson
    PS: On the matter of the ouija board – if one of you happen to see Rick, tell him Earl says hello.

  5. Yo, Jimbo!

    At first you may think that my opening salutation is some sort of disrespect, but au contraire, which as you may know is French for “on the contrary.” My greeting is in fact a reference to an early Akira Kurosawa film, Yojimbo. If given the choice of being addressed by the stuffy Queensbury Rules for addressing public officials, or being given a shout-out signalling your samurai street cred, I say go with the more gangsta of the two.

    But that’s not why I’m writing.

    For the past while I’ve been feeling a certain heaviness overall. This mood crystallized in a particularly moribund moment at The Dour Bulgarian Café in my beloved Bells Corners. When I ordered my coffee, the waitress asked what I take in it. I asked for two sugars but no cream, and she replied “We’re out of cream. How about no milk?” And that’s the way my life has been.

    Lately in particular, I had been all worried about any lingering innuendo surrounding the College Ward councillor regarding the nasty rumour that I am a so-called figment of his imagination, conjured up by him in a desperate moment to create the illusion of support from the Robertson family for the renaming of Robertson Road to Lloyd Francis Boulevard. And because he subsequently hasn’t dealt with this speculation head-on (nor replied to my emails), there have been (and will likely continue to be) people who suspect that if he’s willing to go as far as creating a person out of thin air for the sake of political expedience, then what else is he capable of lying about on a day-to-day basis? Some might think that all that matters to him is politcial gamesmanship – full stop.

    But then I had an epiphany, and realized that perhaps his silence on the disputed fact of my existence may have paved the way for himself, you and the new City Council. After all, if the public isn’t willing to clamour for truthfulness and hold their elected officials accountible, then that opens up a heck of a lot of leeway to Get Stuff Done this time around. Screw ethics, screw accountability, screw trust. The sheep are asleep, the media nary a peep!

    I think this state of constituent disengagement is a gold mine of opportunity for damn near any ol’ thing you may want to heave through. Shove the crow bar in that opening and pry the thing apart as wide as you can! This is a window of opportunity like never before. So if I’m no longer worried, then neither should you.

    Take heart, Ronin Watson. This is your city.

    Don Robertson

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