pity the poor WestSiders

I’m sometimes jealous of WestSiders, people who live close to all the action downtown. You know, the effete latte-sippers in Westboro, Wellington West, Preston, Mechanicsville, etc.

But of course there are MANY advantages to living in our unique Bells Corners community.

For example, we don’t the horrendous parking problems WestSiders have!

The car is king in Bells Corners and His Majesty is allowed to park pretty much wherever He wants, whenever He wants. And it’s always free.

Another advantage to living in a community designed to coddle His Royal Highness – we don’t have all those nasty cyclist/pedestrian/motorist conflicts and road rage they have in the WestSide, since we don’t really have any cyclists or pedestrians.

Trucks and SUVs can bomb around Bells Corners to their hearts’ content without worrying about annoying cyclists and pedestrians getting in the way and slowing everybody down.

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6 Responses to pity the poor WestSiders

  1. Ok, you’ve made me jealous of Bell’s Corners Life. I wish I too could live on Lloyd Francis Blvd. Alas, I will have to jump on my bike and get a bottle of wine down the street, whip over to the bakery for a fresh baguette and maybe stop at a cafe for a latte. Maybe that will ease my pain.

    – I never said that life in WestSide wasn’t good. I’m just saying that life in Bells Corners is even better:

    – we’ve got FOUR Tim Hortons within waddling distance of each other

    – we’re the drive-through capital of the world – where else can you find a mega drive-through drugstore next to a state-of-the-art DOUBLE Tim Horton’s drive-through in a converted Hooters restaurant?

    – we’ve got scavenging wildlife in abundance wandering the streets: racoons, bears, weasels, hyenas, crooked politicians, scam artists, thieves, vandals, etc.

    – we’re proud to live in pay-as-you-go debt-free Nepean – life was so much better before the latte-sippers and the barbarians took over.

  2. wanderer says:

    I wouldn’t live anywhere else – Nepean all the way. Quiet, safe, don’t need to leave the village for anything at all.

    If only RC would leave us alone to meander along without a worry in the world, life would be perfect.

    Maybe he’ll retire, or try to switch to provincial or federal government and we’ll be rid of him forever. One can only dream, eh?

    I’m still looking for the businesses who were so supportive of the road name change – I guess I’ll be looking forever. None to be found.

    – What’s the next step? A boycott? Another demonstration? A bike parade? A focus on our disappointing mayor?

    I’ve got a few funny ideas of my own, but I prefer to play my cards close to the vest for the time being (your socks will have to be rocked later).

    People, the battle is 90% won!

    It’s no time to be slacking off. Keep up the pressure or our cunning career politician will take advantage of voters’ notoriously short memories to spin his way through the turbulent waters to (gag) reelection in 2014.

    • Rick has no hope of ever going above municipal politics. In law school we used to say that when it came to recruitment — physical appearance was worth a full letter grade. The same applies to politics. The Halo Effect is very well documented and it will prevent Rick from ever rising to a higher tier of politics. He might have had hopes of maybe making it to Mayor but those are gone now. This is it for Rick.

      I actually would argue that much of Rick’s erratic behaviour is the result of frustrated ambition. He has been around long enough that he knows that he has hit his ceiling. His previous assistant has gone on to surpass him while Rick is stagnant and unable to advance. That certainly isn’t lost on Rick, which is why he now hires staff who have no hope of ever making anything of themselves. What he fails to realize is that, while such a strategy is good for maintaining Rick’s ego, it is disastrous for Rick’s career.

      – He was touted as a long shot to take over the mayor’s chair when Larry started to sputter out, but his chance disappeared when Jim decided to abandon the sinking McGuinty ship.

      Rick was itching to make a grab for the brass ring – he had the developer and insider connections, a potent Nepean-pay-as-you-go brand, and even previous experience as a mayor (he filled in for his buddy Ben Franklin when the Nepean mayor was under the weather).

      He’ll never get another chance to wear the chain of office, now that he’s ticked off Ben’s widow Sherry (Andrew Haydon’s current wife) with the name rechanging blunder (she fired off a withering letter to the Apr. 12 Planning Committee that was on the public record (and on this blog until the City asked me to take it down because of ‘privacy concerns’). Andy himself showed up on Apr. 12 to attack his ertswhile ally.

      Not that it really matters that Rick has fallen out of favour with his former cronies – he’s angered so many average voters that it’s hard to imagine any scenario that sees him holding on to power in 2014 (if he makes it that far!).

    • wanderer says:

      You’ve got me curious now. I can hardly wait for my socks to be rocked, sooner rather than later.

      We won’t slack off, but need more media attention again.

      I’ll be silent for a week, but then will be back, hopefully with some ideas.

      – I have a very good idea to carry the revolt aginst RC to the next level, but I can’t reveal all the details just yet.

      To give you a hint – it involves balloons, signs, humour, and cheekiness, all done tastefully- taking the spirit and imagination of the My name is Robertson protest and making it mobile.

  3. I think you are underestimating the marketing genius that is Rick Chiarelli — if I’m not mistaken the fictional character Don Draper is inspired by Rick. Bells Corners is going to be both the next Westboro and the next tourist destination. That these two results are mutually exclusive outcomes isn’t an issue — Rick is that good.

    Just imagine all the tourists who will stay in Bells Corners hotels so they can avoid those expensive downtown hotels and save about $8. Nothing says fun family vacation like starting and ending a day with a 20km bike ride from Bells Corners to the festival location.

    Rick is adaptive and, realizing his original pitch was being greeted with mockery, he quickly dropped the cycling component and supplemented it with sporting events. I know personally when I travel to watch a sporting event I avoid the half dozen hotels closest to the event and book my stay one community over. Rick is obviously targeting the much coveted consumer demographic of those who intentionally inconvenience themselves for no reason. Rick has mentioned these people before when he explained how Orleans customers, coming to Bells Corners to shop at PcCyber, were getting lost on Robertson Road.

    The Mayor though is not going to allow Rick to go unchallenged for City Hall marketing genius. When asked what features of Ottawa he would promote to increase Chinese tourism — Jim offered up the new Somerset Arch. Brilliant. Nothing motivates people to fly halfway around the world than a chance to look at something that is a staple of their own architecture. I know if Shenzhen had a Tim Hortons I’d be booking my vacation to China now.

    – If Rick is Don Draper (ha! ha!) then Lida is Betty? Nancy would be Peggy and Jay fits as Salvatore Romano.

    I was talking to the crew that came up from Toronto to remodel the PriceChopper into the FreshCo, asking them if they were enjoying their stay in the new Holiday Inn, or whatever Bells Corners hotel they picked.

    They told me that they checked out the local hotels but the prices were too high, so most of them stayed at a downtown hotel.

  4. TonyL says:

    Rick is definitely finished, and the sooner the final blow comes, the better, so that Bells Corners and John Robertson can live long and prosper again.

    Before Ricky we had Jan, and things were great.

    – I was never a huge Jan Harder fan but I started to change my opinion when she stood up to Rick at the Apr. 12 committee meeting. Did he ever looked ticked off with her!

    Any truth to the rumour that Bells Corners was carved out of Jan’s jurisdiction and grafted onto Rick’s old Baseline ward just so he could live in his own kingdom?

    Pretty ironic – he’d have a better chance of getting elected in 2014 if he could give Bells Corners back to Jan – there aren’t too many RC voters left here now.

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